Houston Area Divorce & Family Law Blog

Not the Father? New Law Addresses Cases of Mistaken Paternity (Texas SB785)

2011-08-10T10:05:00.000-05:00

A new law offers relief to men who have been paying child support for children who are not their biological children. Texas Senate Bill 785 (Texas SB785) allows men who have been paying court ordered child support - without genetic testing - to request genetic testing to determine whether they are the biological parent of the child. If testing concludes a man is not the father, he will be able to reverse the parent-child relationship and terminate all future support payments.

Prior to SB785, men were not able to challenge paternity if they had already accepted paternity and the parental rights of a child even if DNA testing proved he was not the father. This would mean that some men would end up paying child support for 18 years for a child that they knew and the courts knew was not theirs. In some cases, even if the father's rights were terminated, he had to continue to pay child support!

In order to file for relief under this new law, the man must have signed an acknowledgement of paternity or failed to contest paternity in a previous proceeding because of a mistaken belief that he was the child’s father based on misrepresentations by the mother (or otherwise). If the man knew he was not the father at the time he signed the acknowledgement of paternity or the previous court order, the new law does not apply. Also, a man may not file a petition if the man is the child’s adoptive father, the man is the intended father of the child under a gestational agreement, or the child was conceived by assisted reproduction and the man consented to assisted reproduction by his wife.

TIME TO FILE: If you suspect that you are paying child support for a child who is not your biological child, you must file the petition before September 1, 2012. After September 1, 2012, the petition must be filed by the first anniversary of the date on which you become aware of facts indicating that you are not the child’s biological father.

Under the new law, however, it's important to note that courts will not reimburse a "father" for child support payments that have already been made and the man will still be responsible for any arrearages accrued prior to filing the petition. It's definitely not a perfect solution, but it's a step in the right direction.

Likewise, if the relationship between the father and the child is legally terminated, the father may still request that the court continue to allow him to have visitation with the child. The law does recognize that it may be necessary, for the welfare of the child, to maintain such a relationship even though child support payments would stop.

Summer Visitation in a Nutshell

2010-06-17T17:35:00.004-05:00

For those who have possession and access under the Texas Standard Possession Order, making sense of the Summer visitation provisions can be quite the task. Hopefully this helps! Keep in mind that parents are always free to work out visitation by agreement. Whatever works for you is fine! The order is only in place for those times when you can't agree.

For parents who reside WITHIN 100 miles of each other:

1. If the non-custodial parent (NCP - the parent who does not have primary custody) gives the custodial parent (CP - the parent who has primary custody) WRITTEN notice by April 1, the NCP can choose to exercise his/her summer visitation in two separate periods of at least 7 days each. For example, 15 days in June and 15 days in July. Another example is 20 days in July and 10 days in August. It's really up to them. For those who choose to extend their visitation into the month of August, be advised that your visitation period must END 7 days before your child goes back to school. That means, if school starts on August 25, your August visitation must end by August 18.

2. If the NCP does NOT give WRITTEN notice by April 1, the NCP shall have summer visitation for 30 consecutive days beginning at 6:00 pm on July 1 and ending at 6:00 pm on July 31. Yes, that is a very long time. If the CP wants to see the child(ren) during this time, he/she must either give the NCP written notice by April 15 specifying a particular weekend that they want to have the child(ren) or give them 14days notice after April 16. This mean, the CP can have the children for one weekend during the NCP's summer possession as long as it does not interfere with Father's Day and as long as they give proper notice.

For parents who reside MORE than 100 miles apart:

1. The same provisions above apply, except that instead of 30 days in the summer, it's 42 days. If the NCP does NOT give the CP notice by April 1, the NCP will have possession beginning at 6:00 pm on June 15 and ending at 6:00 pm on July 27.

Likewise, if the CP wants to see the child(ren) during these 42 days, he/she must either give the NCP written notice by April 15 specifying up to TWO particular weekends that they want to have the child(ren) or give them 14 days notice after April 16. This mean, the CP can have the children for TWO weekends during the NCP's summer possession as long as it does not interfere with Father's Day and as long as they give proper notice.

SUMMARY:

Parents residing WITHIN 100 miles of each other:

The NCP gets 30 days in the summer
If the NCP wants to divide the 30 days into two separate periods, he/she must give the CP written notice by April 1.
Each separate period above must be at least 7 days.
If the NCP does not give written notice by April 1, he/she will have visitation for 30 consecutive days from July 1 - July 31
If the CP wants to see the child(ren) during the NCP's summer possession, the CP may designate one full weekend that they want the child(ren). This notice must be given by April 15, in writing. If notice is not given by April 15, the CP can still have their weekend with 14 days notice as long as it doesn't interfere with Father's Day.
All required notices should be in writing!

Parents who reside OVER 100 miles apart:

The NCP gets 42 days in the summer.
If the NCP wants to divide the 42 days into two separate periods, he/she must give the CP written notice by April 1.
Each separate period must be at least 7 days.
If the NCP does not give written notice by April 1, he/she will have visitation from June 15 - July 27.
The CP can designate up to TWO weekends to have the children during the NCP's summer visitation (as long as it doesn't interfere with Father's Day).
Notice must be given to the NCP in writing by April 1. If the CP does not give notice by April 1, he/she can still exercise their two weekends, but they must give 14 days notice for each one.
All required notices should be in writing.

Regardless of Distance:

Keep in mind that should the NCP choose to exercise visitation in August, it must end at least 7 days before school starts.

Better Late Than Never? 81 Year Old Sues for Unpaid Child Support

2010-04-07T17:38:00.002-05:00

Fights over children — who gets custody, how much for child support — are at the heart of any family law court on any given day. The faces change, but the stories and disputes rarely do.

So it is on today's docket in the Los Angeles courtroom of Judge Elia Weinbach. At least on paper. The dispute between Rosemary Douglas and Urban Joseph Grass over back child support seems familiar: She claims he never paid; he says he never knew.

In this case, however, the mom has a head of gray hair and has been collecting Social Security for more than a decade. The father was born in the heart of the Jazz Age, when a fellow named Coolidge resided in the White House. And the “child” in question is that only on some yellowing piece of paper. In real life he is a retired grandfather.

“He was ordered to do something. He didn't do it,” said the 81-year-old Douglas. “He didn't challenge it, not legally anyway. I'd always thought about this. It was never far from my mind. Finally I decided, why not? Why not try one more time?”

The story began in 1950. Douglas got pregnant and was not married. She insists Grass was the father and that he wanted nothing to do with her. After her son Gerald was born, she said she went to court to get an order for child support because she had no alternative.

No knowledge of order? Douglas claims Grass, who now lives in Pearland, refused to acknowledge the child and paid no attention to court proceedings. Grass, 82, could not be reached for comment. His attorney in California, Pedram Mansouri, offered a different version of events, saying Grass, then a young soldier, attended one court hearing that produced no child support order and was sent by the Army to Korea before any subsequent hearing. Mansouri claims Grass knew nothing of the order that he pay $50 a month in support.

Douglas insists she repeatedly tried to reach Grass and to get him to release funds from his military allotment to cover the support. She said he refused.

“He wouldn't sign for it, and he has used every ruse he could think of to get out of it,” she said.

The years went by. Douglas said she tried again through private attorneys to find him and get the support payment when Gerald was about 5 or 6 years old, then gave up. She married and had two more children. She worked for many years managing medical groups before retiring. Gerald spent 32 years in the Air Force and recently retired as a lieutenant colonel, she said.

Now a widow, Douglas said she could use the $57,000 that she claims Grass owes her, which includes ever-rising interest. But more important than the money, she said, is the principle. When she managed to locate him in Texas, she hired a process server to deliver court papers.

Now a widow, Douglas said she could use the $57,000 that she claims Grass owes her, which includes ever-rising interest. But more important than the money, she said, is the principle. When she managed to locate him in Texas, she hired a process server to deliver court papers.

“If a judgment is rendered, you have to satisfy that judgment,” she said. “He owes this.”

Mansouri, who was hired only last week and said he is not familiar with all of the details of the matter, said the case may hinge on whether Grass was ever notified of the second court hearing or the support order that came from it. There is no statute of limitations on child support, said Mansouri, who is skeptical that Douglas will be able to prove anything at today's hearing.

“We are hoping to make this go away pretty quickly,” Mansouri said. “I suspect it's an old lady down on her luck who's looking for some money.”

mike.tolson@chron.com

Free Marriage Education Classes

2010-02-25T15:52:00.002-06:00

Planning to say “I Do” anytime soon? The State of Texas is now offering FREE marriage education classes throughout the state. In addition to obtaining the skills and knowledge necessary to form and sustain a healthy marriage, couples who complete a class will save $60 on the cost of their marriage license and will not have to wait 72 hours (after the license is issued) to get married. For more information or to find a class near you, please visit http://www.twogetherintexas.org/UI/HomePage.aspx

2010 Great Texas Warrant Roundup

2010-02-22T13:21:00.006-06:00

If you think you have an outstanding warrant, you might want to take care of it NOW!

Beginning March 6, 2010, anyone with an outstanding warrant WILL BE ARRESTED!

The warrant roundup is designed to target those with outstanding warrants for minor and major infractions such as traffic, parking, city ordinance, penal code and higher charges. With more than 300 law enforcement agencies participating across the state, this years’ warrant roundup is believed to be the largest of its kind. It lasts through March 20, and police say they'll come to your school, home or work, both day and night, to arrest you and bring you to jail!

The City of Houston Municipal Courts alone has thousands of active warrants it is seeking to clear. Municipal Court officials are encouraging defendants to take advantage of one of the options available to settle outstanding warrants. However, unlike last year, no amnesty is being offered in conjunction with the round-up effort.

Notices are being mailed to all defendants with active warrants pending against them and beginning TODAY, defendants can go in person to resolve their cases. Notices are being sent to each defendant's last known address, so if you have moved, you may not be notified! No letter does not mean no warrant! If you believe you may have an outstanding warrant, you should contact your local municipal court for further information. Click here to view a list of participating agencies.

Think Before You Post: Social-Networking and Family Court

2010-01-13T19:41:00.006-06:00

To say social-networking sites such as Facebook, Myspace and Twitter are popular would be an understatement. With nearly 600 million combined members, these online gathering places allow users to keep tabs on current friends, reconnect with those long lost and even meet new people. From high school students to high powered executives, nearly everyone has a membership on one (or all) of these sites. For those looking to connect or reconnect, social-networking can be fun and even addictive. However, for those looking to disconnect or obtain a favorable verdict in family court, these sites can be very dangerous playgrounds.

Take for example the following cases:

1. Husband’s mistress tweeted about a fabulous new piece of jewelry he just bought her.

2. In a custody case, the mother (who was attempting to gain primary custody of her children) posted photos on Myspace that showed her drinking, smoking marijuana and engaging in inappropriate activities with both men and women.

3. A man, who claimed he needed a reduction in his child support obligation because he was unemployed, posted photos on Facebook of a new $60,000 luxury vehicle he had recently purchased. (His modification was denied).

4. A middle school student bragged about not having to go to school because his “mom doesn't care” whether he goes or not. (Dad was awarded primary custody in this case).

When a new client comes to my office for a divorce or custody consultation, I always ask whether they have an account on one of these sites. I then advise them to clean it up. Even if your profile is private, be careful what you post. Material found on these sites can be evidentiary gold-mines for your ex’s attorney. Think your page is secure? Think again. Your ex (or your ex’s new partner) may have befriended a friend of yours or created a fake profile all together to spy on you and possibly obtain unfavorable evidence that will help them in court! I have seen it happen.

If you are involved in a divorce or other family law matter, proceed with caution when deciding what to post on these sites. If you wouldn't want the Judge to see it, don’t post it!

Dallas Judge Clears Way for Gay Divorce

2009-10-07T12:25:00.004-05:00

Back in March, I posted a story of a Dallas man who married his longtime partner in Massachusetts and later asked a Texas court to grant him a divorce. The Court refused to hear the case due to same-sex marriages not being recognized in Texas. Recently, however, Judge Tena Callahan, lifted the ban on gay divorce when she ruled last week that two men married in another state can get divorced in Dallas. While gay rights advocates are applauding Judge Callahan's decision, the state attorney general said Friday that he would appeal the decision.

2009 Legislative Update

2009-08-08T09:09:00.005-05:00

The 81st Legislative session resulted in many significant changes to the Texas Family Code. Thanks to the Legislative Committee of the Family Law Section of the State Bar, and the diligent efforts of the Texas Family Law Foundation, 8 of the 11 bills proposed by the Section passed!

The most notable changes to the Family Code include:

1. Certificate of Informal Marriage – House Bill 3666 amends section 2.204 of the Family Code by adding a provision for the preparation of a Certificate of Informal Marriage by the County Clerk. This means that people who are common law married will be able to obtain a certificate recognizing the validity of their marriage.

2. Waiving the 60 Day Waiting Period – HB 72 amends section 6.702 of the Family Code to allow a party to waive the mandatory 60 day waiting period required before a court may grant a divorce in a case where the court finds that:
a. the Respondent has been finally convicted of (or received deferred adjudication) for an offense involving family violence against the Petitioner or a member of Petitioner’s household, or
b. the Petitioner has an active Protective Order under Title IV or an active magistrate’s order for emergency protection against the Respondent as a result of family violence committed during the marriage.

3. New Chapter 34- Authorization Agreements for Non-Parents (SB 1598)- In short, this is a new statute that will allow parents to authorize a non-parent relative of a child to make certain decisions on behalf of the child. The non-parent relative must be a grandparent, adult sibling, or an adult aunt or uncle of the child. The agreement (which can be revoked at any time) will allow the non-parent to consent to medical, dental, psychological, and surgical treatment of the child, obtain insurance coverage for the child, and enroll the child in school or daycare (in the district where the non-parent resides). This agreement can be entered into by only one parent as long as the other parent receives written notice by mail at least 10 days before it’s signed. However, if the child is under the continuing jurisdiction of a court, the court must pre-approve the agreement.

4. Sibling Access – HB 1012 amends section 153.551(b) of the Family Code to give siblings (who were separated from the child by the Department of Family and Protective Services) the right to file a lawsuit to seek access to the child.

5. New Court in Harris County – Harris County will receive a new Domestic Violence Court to be headed by Judge Tony Lindsey. This court will be located in the Civil Courts Building and will hear all Protective Order matters not associated with a divorce filing.

Failed Bill - If you don’t appreciate the efforts of the Texas Family Law Foundation by now, you may find it interesting to know that HB 480 did not pass. This bill, which was highly opposed by the Foundation, would have required every Petitioner to take a 10 hour “Crises Marriage Education Course” before filing for divorce and suggested that Respondent’s do the same! Failure to take the course could have been considered by the court in dividing property, awarding custody (!), awarding spousal maintenance, and in determining whether to vary from the child support guidelines!

All changes will be effective September 1, 2009 and will apply to every case filed from that date forward. Cases filed before September 1, 2009 will not be affected by these changes.

Understanding Standard Visitation

2009-07-23T19:43:00.009-05:00

The purpose of the Standard Possession Order (SPO) is to ensure that children have frequent and continuing contact with parents or other conservators who have shown that they are able to act in the child's best interest. The visitation schedule outlined in the Texas Family Code has been found to be in the best interest of the child as it encourages parents to share in the rights and duties of raising their child after the parents have separated or divorced.

It’s important to note that the SPO does not apply to children under 3 years of age. In those instances, the Court may customize a more appropriate visitation schedule which often includes a “stair-step” type of visitation in which periods of possession are gradually increased over time.

It’s also important to note that standard visitation is not an arrangement of “every other weekend.” Under the SPO, the non-custodial parent (possessory conservator) will have possession of the child(ren) on the first, third, and fifth weekends of each month. This means that on months with 5 weekends (for example, this month), the non-custodial parent will have visitation two weekends in a row—the fifth weekend of July and the first weekend in August! Under an arrangement of “every other weekend,” this would never happen.

Keep in mind that the SPO is in place only for those instances in which the parents or conservators can not agree on visitation. Parents and conservators are ALWAYS free to mutually agree on any visitation arrangement that works for them and the child(ren).

However, absent mutual agreement, possessory conservators (who reside 100 miles or less from the child) will have the following visitation under the SPO:

Weekend Visits – On the first, third and fifth weekends of each month beginning at the time the child is dismissed from school (or at 6:00 pm) on Friday and ending at 6:00 pm on the following Sunday, or when school resumes on Monday.

Weekday Visits – EVERY Thursday beginning at 6:00 pm and ending at 8:00 pm or when school resumes Friday morning. This allows parents to have the child overnight once a week.

Christmas – In even-numbered years from 6:00 p.m. on the day school is dismissed for the holiday to 12:00 noon on December 28. In odd-numbered years from 12:00 noon on December 28 to 6:00 p.m. on the day before school resumes.

Thanksgiving – In odd-numbered years from 6:00 p.m. on the day when school lets out to 6:00 p.m. on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. (The conservator who has the right to determine the primary residence of the child will have the child on Thanksgiving in even numbered years).

Spring Break – In even-numbered years from 6:00 p.m. on the day school is dismissed to 6:00 p.m. on the Sunday before school resumes. (The conservator who has the right to determine the primary residence of the child will have the child for Spring Break in odd numbered years).

Child’s Birthday – On the child’s birthday from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. For example, if the child’s birthday falls during your weekend or holiday visitation period, the other parent will still have the option of seeing the child from 6:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.

Father’s or Mother’s Day – from 6:00 p.m. on the Friday prior to Father’s Day or Mother’s Day to 6:00 p.m. on that day (Sunday).

Summer Visitation – If the possessory conservator gives the managing conservator written notice by April 1 of each year specifying an extended period or periods of summer possession, the possessory conservator shall have possession of the child for thirty (30) days beginning the day after the child's school is dismissed for the summer vacation and ending not later than seven (7) days before school resumes at the end of the summer vacation. This can be exercised in not more than two (2) separate periods of at least seven (7) consecutive days each. ***Under this option, the possessory conservator picks the 30 days, which can be broken down into 2 separate periods of at least 7 days each. For example, the possessory conservator could choose June 3-12 and July 3-22. Written notice MUST be given!

* If the possessory conservator does not give the managing conservator written notice by April 1 of each year, the possessory conservator shall have possession of the child for thirty (30) consecutive days beginning at 6:00 o'clock p.m. on July 1 and ending at 6:00 o'clock p.m. on July 31.

Parents or conservators who live greater than 100 miles from the children will have the following visitaiton:

Weekend Visits – Either as provided above, or by designating one weekend per month upon 7 day’s notice (either by written or telephone notice).

Christmas – same as above.

Thanksgiving – same as above.

Spring Break – EVERY year from 6:00 p.m. on the day when school lets out to 6:00 p.m. on the Sunday before school begins.

Child’s Birthday – same as above.

Father’s or Mother’s Day – same as above.

Summer Visitation – If the possessory conservator gives the managing conservator written notice by April 1 of each year specifying an extended period or periods of summer possession, the possessory conservator shall have possession of the child for 42 days beginning not earlier than the day after the child's school is dismissed for the summer vacation and ending not later than seven (7) days before school resumes at the end of the summer vacation, to be exercised in not more than two (2) separate periods of at least seven (7) consecutive days each. *** Under this option, you pick the 42 days, which can be broken down into 2 separate periods of at least 7 days each.

* If the possessory conservator does not give the managing conservator written notice by April 1 of each year specifying an extended period or periods of summer possession, the possessory conservator shall have possession of the child for 42 consecutive days beginning at 6:00 o'clock p.m. on June 15 and ending at 6:00 o'clock p.m. on July 27.

Texas Tracks Down Child Support Evaders

2009-05-04T20:14:00.003-05:00

Owing a whopping $521,000, a Conroe pipe fitter, an insurance agent, two moms and a waiter with a pierced tongue all secured spots on Texas’ 2009 top 10 deadbeat-parents list. (Click here to view the list http://www.oag.state.tx.us/oagNews/release.php?id=2960) Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott is seeking the public’s help in bringing these accused child support evaders to justice.

According to Greg Abbott, all of them have skipped court-ordered child support payments for at least six months and have had warrants issued for their arrests. Two of the parents are thought to have left the state, but the rest are believed still to be in Texas, some in the Greater Houston area.

In recent years, Texas has achieved notable success in ensuring that non-custodial parents pay court-ordered child support. In the last fiscal year, ending in August, $2.6 million in child support payments were recovered. In 2007, the National Child Support Enforcement Association named Texas the nation’s leader.

Parents have a legal and ethical obligation to support their children. Child support laws ensure that both parents will share in these responsibilities. Child support is determined by the obligor’s (person paying support) net income and the number of children he or she has. For example, if the obligor has one child, support will be based on 20% of his or her net income. If there are two children, it jumps to 25%.

Failure to pay court ordered child support payments can (and usually will) lead to the obligor being held in contempt of court, fined, and incarcerated. If for some reason you are unable to pay your court-ordered support, pay as much as you can and immediately seek a modification to lower your payments. I often have clients come to me after several months, if not years, of not paying court ordered support. Do not wait this long! If you are unemployed, making less money, suddenly disabled, or have more children to support, a modification is the only way to protect yourself against a contempt action.

While I understand that not all non-paying parents are “dead-beats,” in my experience, that fact won’t matter much in court. All the custodial parent has to do is prove that you didn’t pay as ordered. It will then be up to you to prove that you were not able to make the payments or borrow the money. That is often hard to do, especially considering the fact that you’ve retained an attorney! Where did that money come from? If you are unemployed, you still must pay support. In those cases, the law will assume you earn minimum wage and calculate your support based on that amount.

It is the opinion of most judges that child support should be paid first—before any other bills! (Yes, even before your rent/mortgage payment). Children come first in family court and children have a right to receive child support. Not paying is not an option.

For more information on Texas Child Support laws, click here.

Legal Clinic - Hosted by Fort Bend Lawyers Care

2009-04-14T19:47:00.001-05:00

FBLC will host a walk-in legal clinic in Sugar Land, at the St. Laurence Catholic Church, in the Parish Hall on April 25, 2009 between 9:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M.

The St. Laurence Catholic Church is located at 3100 Sweetwater Blvd., Sugar Land, TX 77479.

The clinic will be open to all low income citizens of Fort Bend County with civil legal issues including; Divorce/Custody, Guardianship, Adoption, Kincare, Real Estate, Bankruptcy, Credit Issues, Immigration, Wills, and Probate.

ABC’s of Family Court

2009-03-21T23:26:00.009-05:00

The following is a list of common terminology often used in family court:

ADR – Alternative Dispute Resolution (for example, mediation or arbitration).
Affidavit – A sworn written statement.
Amicus Attorney – An Attorney appointed by the court to represent the best interest of the child.
Arrearage – Money that was court ordered to be paid and is overdue and unpaid.
Attorney Ad Litem – An Attorney appointed by the court to represent the wishes of the child as he would for an adult client. The rules of confidentiality and undivided loyalty apply.
Binding Agreement – An agreement between the parties that is signed by both of them, and is often also filed with the court. It is enforceable as a contract and the Judge may decide to make the agreement enforceable as a court order.
Child Support – Money paid by a parent to help the other parent support the child.
Collaborative Law – A method of alternative dispute resolution where all parties agree to resolve their disagreements without going to court. Each person hires his or her own attorney and everyone works together in a series of meetings to reach an agreement.
Community Property – Property owned by either party during the marriage.
Community Debt – Debts that occurred during the marriage.
Conservatorship – A court order deciding where a child will live and the rights each parent will have to make decisions regarding the child. Also known as “custody.”
Court Clerk – The person who works for the Judge assigned to your case. He/she receives court papers and assigns hearing dates.
Court Reporter – Types and/or records a record of everything said during a court hearing. The court reporter will prepare a written record if requested for a fee.
Custodial Parent (Sole or Joint Managing Conservator) – The parent who has the legal right to determine the primary residence of the child.
Decree – Also known as Final Decree of Divorce. The legal document signed by the Judge that grants the divorce and describes the specific terms of the divorce.
District Clerk – Maintains the official court records for the county. The district clerk’s office receives all court papers and keeps the divorce files.
Divorce – The legal end of the marriage relationship.
Employer’s Order to Withhold – A court order to deduct child support payments from someone’s employment wages. All child support court orders must include an Employer’s Order to Withhold.
Evidence – Proof given to the court.
Filing – Giving the district clerk your legal papers.
Guardian Ad Litem – A person appointed by the court to represent the best interests of a child.
Insupportability – The most common reason given for a no-fault divorce.
Joint Managing Conservatorship – Also known as Joint Custody. A court order stating both parents have equal rights and duties to make decisions regarding the child.

Judge – The person who hears and makes the final legal decision in your divorce.
Managing Conservator – The parent who has the legal right to determine the primary residence of the child. Also known as Custodial Parent, Primary Conservator or Primary Joint Managing Conservator.
Mediation – A process to help the parties reach an agreement.
Mediator – A neutral person who helps the parties reach an agreement.
Negotiations – An attempt to reach an agreement.
No Fault Divorce – The most common type of divorce, where no one needs to prove that the husband or wife caused the marriage to end.
Non-binding – A process where no specific result is forced on the parties. There is no penalty if the parties are unable to come to an agreement.
Non-custodial Parent – Also known as the Possessory Conservator. The parent that does not have the legal right to determine the primary residence of the child.
Obligor – The parent who is court ordered to pay child support.
Obligee – The parent who receives child support on behalf of the child.
Parties – The individuals on each side of a case. For example, the husband and wife, or mother and father, and the children.
Paternity – A court finding that a certain person is legally the father of the child.
Petition – A legal paper that starts your case and tells the court and the other party what you want.
Petitioner – The person who files the divorce or suit.
Possession Order – Also known as “visitation” or “access.” A court order stating the specific days and times a noncustodial parent may spend time with the child.
Possessory Conservator – Also known as the non-custodial parent. The parent who does not have the legal right to determine the primary residence of the child.
Primary Conservator – The parent who has the legal right to determine the primary residence of the child. Also known as Custodial Parent, Managing Conservator or Primary Joint Managing Conservator.
Process Server – A person approved by the court who gives official legal notice to another person by giving him/her an official copy of a court document.
Pro Se – Representing yourself without an attorney.
Prove Up – The process of finalizing your case in front of the Judge at an uncontested court hearing. At the prove up, one or both of the parties recite the required information to the court. The Judge then has the discretion to approve the terms, grant the divorce or agreement and/or make any other orders the Judge believes are appropriate.
Psychological Evaluation – A court ordered evaluation of a person involved in the lawsuit. The evaluation is conducted by a licensed psychologist who will provide a written report to the court.
Psychiatric Evaluation – A court ordered evaluation of a person involved in the lawsuit. The evaluation is conducted by a psychiatrist who will provide a written report to the court.
QDRO – Qualified Domestic Relations Order – A qualified domestic relations order is an order that needs to be included in a divorce agreement when dealing with pension funds. The QDRO establishes your soon-to-be-ex-spouse's legal right to receive a designated percentage of your qualified plan account balance or benefit payments. In effect, your ex becomes a co-beneficiary of your existing qualified plan pension account.

Respondent – The party who is sued. In a divorce, the spouse of the person who filed.
Retroactive Child Support – Child support that was not previously ordered, but should have been paid at a time after the child was born and the parties were separated.
Return – Also called a Sheriff ’s Return. An affidavit signed by a sheriff or official process server stating the date and time he provided legal notice to the other party, or the reason as to why he was unable to provide legal notice to the other party. The return is filed with the Court.
Separate Property – Property that a spouse owned prior to the marriage, or property that was given to the spouse as a gift or inheritance.
Service – The legal method for giving the other party a copy of the petition.
Settlement – An agreement reached between the parties.
Social Study – A court ordered investigation of the circumstances and home life of the parents and the child. The social study is usually conducted by a social worker.
Sole Managing Conservatorship – Also known as sole custody. A court order stating one parent has more rights and duties regarding the child than the other parent.
Spousal Maintenance – Also called “spousal support” or “alimony.” Money a court requires one spouse to pay to the other spouse for support during and/or after the divorce is granted.
Standard Possession Order (SPO) – A specific possession (visitation) schedule designed by the Texas Legislature and found to be in the best interest of the child in most circumstances.
Temporary Orders – Court orders during the pendency of a divorce. Temporary orders may address any issues that need to be dealt with while a divorce is pending, such as custody, visitation, child support, use of property and responsibility to pay debt.
Temporary Mutual Injunction – Also known as a Mutual Injunction. A common order contained in Temporary Orders in a divorce that prohibits the parties from destroying or transferring any community property, incurring further debts, and from any type of harassment to the other party or the child.
Temporary Restraining Order – Also known as a TRO. A common order at the beginning of a divorce that prohibits the other spouse from doing anything to transfer or destroy the property of the marriage or to cause harassment to the other spouse or the child.
Waiver of Service – A legal document, signed by the Respondent in the presence of a notary, that states he/she accepts legal notice of the Petition without an official process server or sheriff or constable giving it to him/her. The waiver of service may also have other legal consequences depending on what is stated in the waiver.

Our Family Wizard – Taking the Stress Out of Communication and Planning

2009-03-17T20:37:00.002-05:00

When a relationship involving children ends, it is often difficult (and sometimes impossible) to keep the lines of communication open. You said soccer practice was at 3:00, he thought you said 4:30. You said you were picking the kids up Friday night, she forgot and took them to the movies instead.

OurFamilyWizard.Com is designed to reduce, if not eliminate, the stress that often arises due to breakdowns in communication between parents who live in separate households.

For a small fee, parents can keep an online calendar (that the other parent can access 24 hours a day, 7 days a week) of extracurricular activities, appointments, school information, expenses, medical information, visitation periods, etc.

This site is a great tool that makes co-parenting easier and a lot less stressful. For more information, log onto http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/

OFW News : 07/01/2008 – “One of the greatest benefits to using the OurFamilyWizard website is the ability to help control the amount of "he said/she said". The OurFamilyWizard website allows parents to keep very accurate records of what was said and when it was said. In most cases, especially high conflict cases, the chronology of events is just as important as the events themselves.”

Texas Court Blocks Same Sex Divorce

2009-03-01T15:14:00.002-06:00

(Jan. 2009) A Dallas man who married his longtime partner in Massachusetts asked a Texas court to grant him a divorce. The Court refused to hear the case. While same-sex marriage is not recognized in Texas, it is legal in several other states.

The couple married in Massachusetts in 2006 and have resided in Dallas ever since. Attorney General Greg Abbott said that since Texas law prohibits same-sex marriages and civil unions, the men could not be divorced in Texas since their union is not recognized to exist in Texas.

Peter Schulte, who represents the unnamed plaintiff, said he plans to argue that the U.S. Constitution dictates that states recognize contracts from other states. According to Schulte, the couple could be legally divorced in Massachusetts but only after establishing residency. Schulte maintains that even though his client was married out of state, he shouldn't be treated any different than anyone else seeking a divorce.

While this case is a first for Texas, it is not the first nationwide. A gay couple seeing a divorce in Rhode Island were denied for the same reason as Schulte’s client. Another gay couple seeking a divorce in Iowa were successful in their dissolution.

HBA Sponsors Free Legal Clinics for Veterans: February 28, 2009

2009-02-26T00:04:00.001-06:00

As part of its Veterans' Legal Initiative, the Houston Bar Association will hold two free legal advice clinics for veterans on Saturday, February 28, from 9:00 a.m. until noon. One clinic will be held at VFW Post 8790 at 1560 Foley Street (77055) and another at American Legion Post 560 at 3720 Alba Road (77018).

If you know a veteran or the spouse of a deceased veteran who could benefit from the legal clinics, please encourage them to attend one of the locations. More than 20 attorneys, as well as support staff, have volunteered to staff each clinic. Each site will have family law, probate, and disability specialists.

For more information, visit the HBA Web site, http://www.hba.org/.

“In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”- Benjamin Franklin

2009-02-16T21:01:00.009-06:00

For some, tax season has come and gone. For many others, it’s only just begun. Many are anxiously anticipating refunds, while others are dreading the April 15th deadline.

This time of year, I often receive phone calls regarding filing status and exemptions. While I do not offer tax advice, I strongly encourage clients to consult with a CPA or tax attorney regarding what would be best for them.

Additionally, the IRS has published a guide for Divorced or Separated Individuals. This useful guide explains tax rules that apply if you are divorced or separated, including, selecting your filing status, deciding which exemptions to claim, alimony, child support, property settlements, and deducting the costs of divorce.

Though published for use in preparing 2007 returns, this guide will offer valuable, time saving (and hopefully money-saving) information that will assist you with your 2008 returns as well.

FREE LEGAL CLINIC

2009-01-23T08:20:00.003-06:00

FREE LEGAL CLINIC
Sponsored by Fort Bend Lawyers CARE*

WHEN: January 31, 2009
8:30 to 11:30 a.m.

WHERE: Sugar Land Community Center
The Red Room
226 Matlage Way, Sugar Land, TX 77478

WHO SHOULD ATTEND? All low-income Fort Bend County Residents seeking civil legal advice

Not sure if you qualify? Call 281-239-0015 for a pre-screening

BEWARE! *72 Collect Call Scam

2009-01-12T20:19:00.000-06:00

Earlier this evening, I received a collect call from an inmate in the Harris County Jail. Not knowing anyone who could possibly be calling me from jail, I hung up. A few moments later, they called back. Thinking that it was possibly a friend or relative, I answered and accepted the call. The caller identified himself as a Houston Police Officer and stated that an individual (whom I do not know) had been arrested and had given him my phone number. I told him that I did not know this individual. The “officer” then offered to give me a telephone number to call to have the charge removed from my bill. I was already suspicious, so I hung up without getting the number.

As it turns out, this is a fairly common scam. The caller will either ask you to call someone for them or offer to give you a number to have the charge removed from your bill. Either way, it usually involves you dialing *72 either before or after the phone number. BEWARE! Dialing *72 will forward your phone line and cause all of your incoming calls to ring at another number. The original caller will then have his partner-in-crime on the other end accepting collect calls on your dime while telling your own legitimate callers that they have the wrong number. This scam could go on for several days before you even notice.

Be safe. NEVER accept collect calls from someone you don’t know, and if you happen to accept the call (as I did) NEVER offer to make a call for someone or dial any combination of numbers that they give you.

Texas Debit Card and Child Support: An Alternative to Paper Checks

2008-12-09T09:37:00.007-06:00

The Texas debit card gives parents an alternative to receiving paper checks in the mail. The cards can be used anywhere VISA is accepted and parents do not need a bank account to get one. Any parent who receives child support through the Texas Child Support Disbursement Unit in San Antonio is eligible for the Texas Debit Card.

Benefits of the card include:
• 24/7 access to your money (even if you are away from home)
• No more waiting for checks to arrive or clear through your bank (payments are automatically loaded onto the card)
• No check cashing fees
• Safer and more convenient than using cash or checks
• Cash back options at several merchants

For more information, or to apply for a card, please visit https://www.eppicard.com/ or call 1-866-729-6159

Understanding Mediation

2008-11-22T21:23:00.010-06:00

"The courts of this country should not be the place where the resolution of disputes begin. They should be the places where the disputes end – after alternative methods of resolving disputes have been considered and tried.”
-Justice Sandra Day O’Connor

What is Mediation?

Mediation is an informal process in which a neutral third-party (the Mediator) assists in resolving a dispute between two or more parties. The role of the mediator is to facilitate discussion between the parties, assist them in focusing on the real issues, and generate options for settlement. The mediator will not decide if either party is "right" or "wrong." The mediator will not force any party to accept a settlement that is not agreeable to everyone, and the mediator will not give legal advice.

What happens at mediation?

At the mediation, the parties will sit down with the mediator in private and explain the problem as they see it and how they think the matter could be resolved. The mediator oversees the discussion to allow each party a full opportunity to be heard in an atmosphere of cooperation and respect.

Does the mediator meet with both parties together or separately?

Mediators can either work separately with each party, acting as a go-between, or with both parties present in the same room. There can be advantages and disadvantages to each approach, depending on the circumstances of the particular case. This is a question that the parties should address in advance with their attorneys.

Do I have to attend meditation?

In certain circumstances, mediation is required. For example, in both Harris and Fort Bend Counties, parties are required to participate in the Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) process prior to any temporary orders hearing in which custody is an issue. Likewise, one party can petition the court to order ADR participation prior to trial.

Can we go to mediation without a court referral?

At any time, even before a case is filed, the parties may agree to attempt to resolve their dispute by attending mediation. You do not need a court order to enter into mediation.

Is mediation always appropriate?

No. Mediation is not recommended in cases involving family violence.

What types of issues are decided at mediation?

Generally speaking, anything that can be decided in Court can be agreed to in meditation. As it relates to family law, issues such as conservatorship (custody), child support, visitation, property division, spousal support, debt allocation, use of the marital residence/motor vehicles, geographical restrictions, etc are often settled in mediation.

What happens if we reach an agreement?

The mediator will then draft a Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA). The parties and their attorneys will review the proposed agreement, and if it accurately reflects the desires of each party, it will be signed (by the parties and their attorneys, if present) and filed with the court. Once filed, it has the effect of a court order.

What if we agree on some things and not others?

This is fairly common. Any issues not settled in mediation will go before the Court.

What if I change my mind after signing the agreement?

I can not stress the importance of fully understanding and agreeing to ALL of the terms of the MSA. Once signed, most MSAs are binding and irrevocable. You will have to abide by the terms of your agreement (even if you change your mind the next day).

How long does mediation take?

Mediations are usually scheduled for a ½ day (4 hours) or a full day (8 hours).

What if we can’t seem to agree on anything?

An impasse will be declared, the mediation will end, and the parties will then go before the Court to have the judge decide.

Who can attend the mediation?

Typically, the parties involved and their respective attorneys may attend. In some cases, parties are allowed to bring along one support person, but that individual will not be allowed to participate in the mediation. It is not appropriate to bring children to mediation.

How much does mediation cost?

In some cases, the parties may attend meditation at a local dispute resolution organization free of charge. However, if a private mediator is used, the parties should expect to pay by the hour. The cost is usually split equally between the parties.

Why is mediation so important?

1. For starters, mediation is private. The only ones present are the parties, their attorneys, and the mediator. Courts are open to the public. So, in addition to various individuals, there will also be court personnel and other attorneys present. It is a lot easier to discuss aspects of your personal life in private rather than in front of an audience of complete strangers.

2. Decisions concerning your life should be made by you, and not for you. The judge does not know you or your children, and you will be forced to comply with the Court’s order whether you like it or not. Mediation requires compromise between the parties and individuals usually leave feeling as if they had a “say so.” After a court proceeding, however, one party always feels as if they got the short end of the stick.

3. Mediation is also confidential. The mediator can not be called into court to discuss anything you may have told them. This encourages the parties to be as candid as possible.

4. Mediation is cheaper and faster than going to trial.

Do I need a lawyer to go to mediation?

You do not need a lawyer, however, if there are substantial legal issues involved, it is best to consult with an attorney about what your legal rights are prior to going to mediation. Mediators may or may not be lawyers, but in mediation, the mediator cannot give legal advice to the parties. You are entitled to bring your attorney to a mediation session if you wish.

10 Holiday Tips for Divorced Parents

2008-11-03T09:28:00.004-06:00

Divorce is emotionally draining, especially during the holidays and special occasions. Divorced parents must communicate with even more diplomacy, patience, mutual understanding, respect, and tolerance than married couples planning holiday travel, dinners, reunions and gift-giving. Juggling schedules during marriage is hard, and it only gets harder after divorce.

Here are 10 tips for making sure everyone enjoys special occasions:

1. Plan Ahead

Develop a parenting schedule before the holidays.
Avoid scheduling the children for dinner with Dad at noon and a second turkey dinner a few hours later with Mom. Instead, arrange for Dad to spend the entire day with the children in all odd-numbered years, and have Mom spend the holiday with them in all even-numbered years.

If possible, hire a parenting coordinator, usually a child psychologist or divorce lawyer appointed by the court to act as a decision-maker until a judge makes a different decision. You have quicker access to the coordinator than the judge, but the coordinator must be paid.

2. Keep Your Word

Stick to the schedule. Arrive on time and drop off the children on time.

3. Keep in Touch

If the children are not with you for the holidays, call them, and be sure to send cards or email. Consider celebrating the holiday or birthday before or after the actual day. Children love parties and gifts any time - nothing fancy - but something special you create just for them.

4. Let the Children Keep in Touch

If the children spend the holiday with you, let them speak with the other parent. Give the children any cards and email from the other parent, and read the messages to young children who cannot read. If the children are too young to call, help them make or receive a call, and let them have a quiet moment to speak with the other parent. Make sure to avoid planning an exciting activity like gift-opening at the same time that the children are scheduled to speak with their Mom or Dad.

Remember, children usually have a short attention span, so do not blame the other parent if conversations are short.

5. Safe Travel

Make travel arrangements with airlines for long-distance travel. Airlines provide supervision for unaccompanied minors for a nominal fee.

6. The Art of Gift-Giving

Coordinate gift-giving with the other parent. Do not give your child a cell phone if you know Mom is giving her a phone. If your ex-spouse will not cooperate, go ahead with your own plans, but do not complain to the children about the other parent.

7. Acknowledge the Child's Right to Enjoyment

Let your child take gifts to your ex-spouse's home. Conversely, if your child brings home a new toy or bicycle, let your child take it back to her Dad's home, if she wants.

8. To Each His Own

Let the children spend Mother's Day with Mom and Father's Day with Dad.

9. Create Your Own Celebrations

Do not insist upon attending your child's birthday or graduation party if your ex-spouse is throwing the party. Give your own party on another day.

10. Give Your Child Permission to Love Both Parents

Help your child buy or make a gift and card for the other parent, if the child is too young to handle the tasks herself. You are doing your child a favor, not your ex-spouse, because you are giving your child permission to love the other parent - the best gift you can give.

By: Sharyn T. Sooho

Which Assets Should I Look For?

2008-10-22T18:29:00.003-05:00

Every spousal financial relationship is unique. Through the years, couples develop their own systems for handling financial matters. Sometimes it is one partner's responsibility to manage all finances, sometimes the other's and sometimes a combination. Whatever the situation, certain information should be shared.

Couples should consider mutual responsibility for and knowledge of:

Retirement plans: Take time to fully acquaint each other with employer retirement benefits. Both partners should have current knowledge of pension plans, 401(k) accounts and IRAs. For a complete picture of expected retirement benefits, become familiar with each other's Social Security benefits, as well. Understanding retirement benefit information will bring clarity and facilitate retirement planning.

Credit card documents: This one can be scary. Some may prefer to not know how much credit card debt their spouse has accumulated. But it's wise to know where to find account numbers in case one loses his or her wallet and needs the other to help cancel the card. Also, mutual awareness of credit card debt amounts will help with developing a family's overall financial plan.

Power of attorney: It is generally a good idea to have power of attorney on any individually owned assets, just in case one becomes ill or otherwise unavailable. Power of attorney can be limited to specific functions for a certain period, such as selling stocks or withdrawing money while traveling. A broad document that authorizes each partner to handle almost any situation in the other's absence is also a consideration.

Wills, trusts and life insurance: It's especially important to share information about wills, trusts and life insurance if either has been married before. There could be restrictions on how some assets may be used and beneficiaries left unchanged by mistake. Most important, make sure each partner knows where to find wills and will be able to easily access it if something were to happen.

Health insurance policies: Most insurance companies will cover care administered in the first 24 to 48 hours of a medical emergency, even if the coverage details have not been sorted out. But the situation isn't as clear with hospital visits that are less urgent. If each partner is covered under a different insurance plan, both should be familiarized with the requirement "hoops" they may have to jump through.

If one spouse had a sudden illness, would the other know which doctor to call first to get an okay for treatment? If not, they risk running up big bills at an out-of-network doctor.

Business loans: If one spouse owns a business or is a partner in a professional firm, both should know about any personally guaranteed loans. It is critical to be aware of liabilities since household assets can be hit if the business can't repay the loan.

While many don't necessarily need to know everything about their spouse's finances, maintaining a working knowledge of the above points can help maintain

By Matthew A. Bell, CDFA, WMS

Time Is Money: Dealing Successfully With a Divorce Attorney

2008-10-14T13:10:00.006-05:00

Dealing with divorce and divorce lawyers is not much different than taking a trip without first plotting out the route. If you go to a matrimonial lawyer without specific objectives or goals in mind, and think he or she can fix it for you, you'll be disappointed. Given a specific set of facts, lawyers are trained to apply the law and advise clients about ways to attain specific goals - or at least some of them.

Here are some basic guidelines:

1. Gather as much of your financial and other information as possible before you go to see your lawyer. This includes tax returns and schedules, financial statements, budget documents and the like from at least the last five years.

2. Make sure your fee arrangement is in writing, that you understand it before you sign, and that everyone understands how you will pay your bill. Generally, lawyers are not allowed to take a percentage of what is recovered for you in a divorce case, so expect to pay by the hour.

3. Since you won't always need to talk to your lawyer when you have questions, meet and get to know the paralegal or secretary.

4. Write out your questions, then make an appointment with the lawyer and take notes about what you're told.

5. Photocopies made at the lawyer's office may cost you 25 or more cents per page, sometimes plus the time of the person making the copies. So for numerous copies, consider making your own at copy shops to save money.

6. If you don't understand something, ask. And if you have a problem with the way your lawyer is handling your case, also ask. Don't allow the issue to fester.

7.Your lawyer should keep you reasonably informed about the status of your case by sending you copies of what goes out of the office. Then you'll be less likely to make emergency calls. Remember: Spur-of-the-moment calls just to find out what's going on can get expensive.

8. Don't second-guess your lawyer based on the advice of friends and family. But if you feel strongly about a point, seek a second opinion. Let your lawyer know you feel this way.

9. Remember that your lawyer works for you. After you have been fully informed and have reviewed your options, you and your lawyer should decide upon a course of action suitable to your situation.

10. Don't be surprised if your case takes time to get resolved. Although everyone is in a hurry to complete his/her case, you will have no control over scheduling issues that can keep your case in limbo for a long time.

11. If your lawyer promises or guarantees you a result, get another lawyer.

Jan Collins, a writer and editor, and Jan Warner, matrimonial tax and elder-law attorney.

Understanding Child Custody

2008-10-09T11:10:00.006-05:00

In my experience, “Joint Custody” and “Sole Custody” are probably two of the most misused and misunderstood terms in family law cases. People often throw these terms around without really understanding what they mean.

The most common misconception is that if you are awarded sole custody of your children, the other parent will never see them again. People often come to my office requesting “sole custody” when their primary goal is to take their children away from the other parent completely. Likewise, people often believe that joint custody means that the children will live with one parent 50% of the time, and with the other parent 50% of the time. In both cases, the opposite is true.

The legal term for joint custody is Joint Managing Conservatorship (JMC). In a JMC, both parents are able to make decisions regarding issues such as education, religious upbringing, medical care, etc. Although both parents share in the decision making, one parent will typically be named as the “Primary” JMC. The primary JMC is the parent who gets to decide where the child lives. In addition to having the right to determine the residence of the child, the primary JMC is also entitled to collect child support from the other parent.

Unlike JMC, in a Sole Managing Conservatorship (SMC), one parent is appointed to make all the major decisions regarding the child's upbringing, including where the child will live. Naming one parent as the SMC is usually done when the court finds that joint custody is not in the best interests of the child. In this situation, the non-custodial parent will be allowed the same visitation as in joint custody; however, he or she will not be able to participate in the decision making process. *It’s important to note that under certain circumstances, the Court will name one parent SMC and restrict the other parent’s access to the child all together.

What is an Uncontested Divorce? Is it right for you?

2008-10-07T11:05:00.006-05:00

Uncontested divorces are divorces of agreement. In an uncontested divorce, the parties agree to resolve all issues (prior to filing) without the need for court intervention.

Here, the lawyer's role is limited to the preparation of pleadings, the divorce decree, and the closing documents. Typically, there is only one lawyer involved, and only one court appearance is necessary to finalize the divorce. Because of this, legal fees are substantially reduced.

To determine whether an uncontested divorce is right for you, consider the following:

Marital Property Division
Child Support
Child Custody
Debt Allocation

If you and your spouse can reach an agreement on the above, there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to proceed with an uncontested divorce.

The Divorce Process: Do's and Don'ts

2008-10-05T12:36:00.014-05:00

Divorce can be a difficult process. Even in the best of circumstances, tempers may run high, and every decision can seem to be more stressful than the last. It is only human to find yourself reacting emotionally at certain stages of a divorce, but it is important to remember that your actions throughout the process can affect your familial, emotional, and financial situation for years to come. Following are some "do's and don'ts" for the divorce process.

THE DO's

DO be reasonable and cooperate as much as possible with your soon-to-be-ex. Reasonable compromise yields quicker and easier results in divorce cases.

DO support your children through this process. It's even tougher on them than on you. Don't make them pick sides.

DO let your spouse know when and where you will spend time with your kids while you work out permanent custody arrangements. Your spouse might think you've made a run for the border -- and if your soon-to-be-ex has to ask the police to track you down, that won't look good during custody or visitation hearings.

DO fully disclose all your assets and property. A court can throw out a divorce decree based on financial deception, putting you back in court years after you thought everything was final.

DO ask your attorney if anything doesn't make sense. Your attorney works for you, and should help you understand every part of the divorce process.

THE DON'Ts

DON'T make big plans to take a job in another state or move out of the country until your divorce is final. Your new life could interfere with getting your divorce finalized.

DON'T violate any temporary custody or visitation arrangements. It could make it tougher for you to get the custody or visitation rights you prefer.

DON'T "give away" property to friends or relatives and arrange to get it back later. Hiding property can mean your spouse can take you back to court to settle those assets.

DON'T go it alone. Divorce is complicated, and an attorney can make sure that your interests are protected.