Texas Debit Card and Child Support: An Alternative to Paper Checks

The Texas debit card gives parents an alternative to receiving paper checks in the mail. The cards can be used anywhere VISA is accepted and parents do not need a bank account to get one. Any parent who receives child support through the Texas Child Support Disbursement Unit in San Antonio is eligible for the Texas Debit Card.

Benefits of the card include:
• 24/7 access to your money (even if you are away from home)
• No more waiting for checks to arrive or clear through your bank (payments are automatically loaded onto the card)
• No check cashing fees
• Safer and more convenient than using cash or checks
• Cash back options at several merchants

For more information, or to apply for a card, please visit https://www.eppicard.com/ or call 1-866-729-6159

Understanding Mediation

"The courts of this country should not be the place where the resolution of disputes begin. They should be the places where the disputes end – after alternative methods of resolving disputes have been considered and tried.”
-Justice Sandra Day O’Connor

What is Mediation?

Mediation is an informal process in which a neutral third-party (the Mediator) assists in resolving a dispute between two or more parties. The role of the mediator is to facilitate discussion between the parties, assist them in focusing on the real issues, and generate options for settlement. The mediator will not decide if either party is "right" or "wrong." The mediator will not force any party to accept a settlement that is not agreeable to everyone, and the mediator will not give legal advice.

What happens at mediation?

At the mediation, the parties will sit down with the mediator in private and explain the problem as they see it and how they think the matter could be resolved. The mediator oversees the discussion to allow each party a full opportunity to be heard in an atmosphere of cooperation and respect.

Does the mediator meet with both parties together or separately?

Mediators can either work separately with each party, acting as a go-between, or with both parties present in the same room. There can be advantages and disadvantages to each approach, depending on the circumstances of the particular case. This is a question that the parties should address in advance with their attorneys.

Do I have to attend meditation?

In certain circumstances, mediation is required. For example, in both Harris and Fort Bend Counties, parties are required to participate in the Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) process prior to any temporary orders hearing in which custody is an issue. Likewise, one party can petition the court to order ADR participation prior to trial.

Can we go to mediation without a court referral?

At any time, even before a case is filed, the parties may agree to attempt to resolve their dispute by attending mediation. You do not need a court order to enter into mediation.

Is mediation always appropriate?

No. Mediation is not recommended in cases involving family violence.

What types of issues are decided at mediation?

Generally speaking, anything that can be decided in Court can be agreed to in meditation. As it relates to family law, issues such as conservatorship (custody), child support, visitation, property division, spousal support, debt allocation, use of the marital residence/motor vehicles, geographical restrictions, etc are often settled in mediation.

What happens if we reach an agreement?

The mediator will then draft a Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA). The parties and their attorneys will review the proposed agreement, and if it accurately reflects the desires of each party, it will be signed (by the parties and their attorneys, if present) and filed with the court. Once filed, it has the effect of a court order.

What if we agree on some things and not others?

This is fairly common. Any issues not settled in mediation will go before the Court.

What if I change my mind after signing the agreement?

I can not stress the importance of fully understanding and agreeing to ALL of the terms of the MSA. Once signed, most MSAs are binding and irrevocable. You will have to abide by the terms of your agreement (even if you change your mind the next day).

How long does mediation take?

Mediations are usually scheduled for a ½ day (4 hours) or a full day (8 hours).

What if we can’t seem to agree on anything?

An impasse will be declared, the mediation will end, and the parties will then go before the Court to have the judge decide.

Who can attend the mediation?

Typically, the parties involved and their respective attorneys may attend. In some cases, parties are allowed to bring along one support person, but that individual will not be allowed to participate in the mediation. It is not appropriate to bring children to mediation.

How much does mediation cost?

In some cases, the parties may attend meditation at a local dispute resolution organization free of charge. However, if a private mediator is used, the parties should expect to pay by the hour. The cost is usually split equally between the parties.

Why is mediation so important?

1. For starters, mediation is private. The only ones present are the parties, their attorneys, and the mediator. Courts are open to the public. So, in addition to various individuals, there will also be court personnel and other attorneys present. It is a lot easier to discuss aspects of your personal life in private rather than in front of an audience of complete strangers.

2. Decisions concerning your life should be made by you, and not for you. The judge does not know you or your children, and you will be forced to comply with the Court’s order whether you like it or not. Mediation requires compromise between the parties and individuals usually leave feeling as if they had a “say so.” After a court proceeding, however, one party always feels as if they got the short end of the stick.

3. Mediation is also confidential. The mediator can not be called into court to discuss anything you may have told them. This encourages the parties to be as candid as possible.

4. Mediation is cheaper and faster than going to trial.

Do I need a lawyer to go to mediation?

You do not need a lawyer, however, if there are substantial legal issues involved, it is best to consult with an attorney about what your legal rights are prior to going to mediation. Mediators may or may not be lawyers, but in mediation, the mediator cannot give legal advice to the parties. You are entitled to bring your attorney to a mediation session if you wish.

10 Holiday Tips for Divorced Parents

Divorce is emotionally draining, especially during the holidays and special occasions. Divorced parents must communicate with even more diplomacy, patience, mutual understanding, respect, and tolerance than married couples planning holiday travel, dinners, reunions and gift-giving. Juggling schedules during marriage is hard, and it only gets harder after divorce.

Here are 10 tips for making sure everyone enjoys special occasions:

1. Plan Ahead

Develop a parenting schedule before the holidays.
Avoid scheduling the children for dinner with Dad at noon and a second turkey dinner a few hours later with Mom. Instead, arrange for Dad to spend the entire day with the children in all odd-numbered years, and have Mom spend the holiday with them in all even-numbered years.

If possible, hire a parenting coordinator, usually a child psychologist or divorce lawyer appointed by the court to act as a decision-maker until a judge makes a different decision. You have quicker access to the coordinator than the judge, but the coordinator must be paid.

2. Keep Your Word

Stick to the schedule. Arrive on time and drop off the children on time.

3. Keep in Touch

If the children are not with you for the holidays, call them, and be sure to send cards or email. Consider celebrating the holiday or birthday before or after the actual day. Children love parties and gifts any time - nothing fancy - but something special you create just for them.

4. Let the Children Keep in Touch

If the children spend the holiday with you, let them speak with the other parent. Give the children any cards and email from the other parent, and read the messages to young children who cannot read. If the children are too young to call, help them make or receive a call, and let them have a quiet moment to speak with the other parent. Make sure to avoid planning an exciting activity like gift-opening at the same time that the children are scheduled to speak with their Mom or Dad.

Remember, children usually have a short attention span, so do not blame the other parent if conversations are short.

5. Safe Travel

Make travel arrangements with airlines for long-distance travel. Airlines provide supervision for unaccompanied minors for a nominal fee.

6. The Art of Gift-Giving

Coordinate gift-giving with the other parent. Do not give your child a cell phone if you know Mom is giving her a phone. If your ex-spouse will not cooperate, go ahead with your own plans, but do not complain to the children about the other parent.

7. Acknowledge the Child's Right to Enjoyment

Let your child take gifts to your ex-spouse's home. Conversely, if your child brings home a new toy or bicycle, let your child take it back to her Dad's home, if she wants.

8. To Each His Own

Let the children spend Mother's Day with Mom and Father's Day with Dad.

9. Create Your Own Celebrations

Do not insist upon attending your child's birthday or graduation party if your ex-spouse is throwing the party. Give your own party on another day.

10. Give Your Child Permission to Love Both Parents

Help your child buy or make a gift and card for the other parent, if the child is too young to handle the tasks herself. You are doing your child a favor, not your ex-spouse, because you are giving your child permission to love the other parent - the best gift you can give.


By: Sharyn T. Sooho

Which Assets Should I Look For?

Every spousal financial relationship is unique. Through the years, couples develop their own systems for handling financial matters. Sometimes it is one partner's responsibility to manage all finances, sometimes the other's and sometimes a combination. Whatever the situation, certain information should be shared.

Couples should consider mutual responsibility for and knowledge of:

Retirement plans: Take time to fully acquaint each other with employer retirement benefits. Both partners should have current knowledge of pension plans, 401(k) accounts and IRAs. For a complete picture of expected retirement benefits, become familiar with each other's Social Security benefits, as well. Understanding retirement benefit information will bring clarity and facilitate retirement planning.

Credit card documents: This one can be scary. Some may prefer to not know how much credit card debt their spouse has accumulated. But it's wise to know where to find account numbers in case one loses his or her wallet and needs the other to help cancel the card. Also, mutual awareness of credit card debt amounts will help with developing a family's overall financial plan.

Power of attorney: It is generally a good idea to have power of attorney on any individually owned assets, just in case one becomes ill or otherwise unavailable. Power of attorney can be limited to specific functions for a certain period, such as selling stocks or withdrawing money while traveling. A broad document that authorizes each partner to handle almost any situation in the other's absence is also a consideration.

Wills, trusts and life insurance: It's especially important to share information about wills, trusts and life insurance if either has been married before. There could be restrictions on how some assets may be used and beneficiaries left unchanged by mistake. Most important, make sure each partner knows where to find wills and will be able to easily access it if something were to happen.

Health insurance policies: Most insurance companies will cover care administered in the first 24 to 48 hours of a medical emergency, even if the coverage details have not been sorted out. But the situation isn't as clear with hospital visits that are less urgent. If each partner is covered under a different insurance plan, both should be familiarized with the requirement "hoops" they may have to jump through.

If one spouse had a sudden illness, would the other know which doctor to call first to get an okay for treatment? If not, they risk running up big bills at an out-of-network doctor.

Business loans: If one spouse owns a business or is a partner in a professional firm, both should know about any personally guaranteed loans. It is critical to be aware of liabilities since household assets can be hit if the business can't repay the loan.

While many don't necessarily need to know everything about their spouse's finances, maintaining a working knowledge of the above points can help maintain

By Matthew A. Bell, CDFA, WMS

Time Is Money: Dealing Successfully With a Divorce Attorney

Dealing with divorce and divorce lawyers is not much different than taking a trip without first plotting out the route. If you go to a matrimonial lawyer without specific objectives or goals in mind, and think he or she can fix it for you, you'll be disappointed. Given a specific set of facts, lawyers are trained to apply the law and advise clients about ways to attain specific goals - or at least some of them.

Here are some basic guidelines:

1. Gather as much of your financial and other information as possible before you go to see your lawyer. This includes tax returns and schedules, financial statements, budget documents and the like from at least the last five years.

2. Make sure your fee arrangement is in writing, that you understand it before you sign, and that everyone understands how you will pay your bill. Generally, lawyers are not allowed to take a percentage of what is recovered for you in a divorce case, so expect to pay by the hour.

3. Since you won't always need to talk to your lawyer when you have questions, meet and get to know the paralegal or secretary.

4. Write out your questions, then make an appointment with the lawyer and take notes about what you're told.

5. Photocopies made at the lawyer's office may cost you 25 or more cents per page, sometimes plus the time of the person making the copies. So for numerous copies, consider making your own at copy shops to save money.

6. If you don't understand something, ask. And if you have a problem with the way your lawyer is handling your case, also ask. Don't allow the issue to fester.

7.Your lawyer should keep you reasonably informed about the status of your case by sending you copies of what goes out of the office. Then you'll be less likely to make emergency calls. Remember: Spur-of-the-moment calls just to find out what's going on can get expensive.

8. Don't second-guess your lawyer based on the advice of friends and family. But if you feel strongly about a point, seek a second opinion. Let your lawyer know you feel this way.

9. Remember that your lawyer works for you. After you have been fully informed and have reviewed your options, you and your lawyer should decide upon a course of action suitable to your situation.

10. Don't be surprised if your case takes time to get resolved. Although everyone is in a hurry to complete his/her case, you will have no control over scheduling issues that can keep your case in limbo for a long time.

11. If your lawyer promises or guarantees you a result, get another lawyer.

Jan Collins, a writer and editor, and Jan Warner, matrimonial tax and elder-law attorney.

Understanding Child Custody

In my experience, “Joint Custody” and “Sole Custody” are probably two of the most misused and misunderstood terms in family law cases. People often throw these terms around without really understanding what they mean.

The most common misconception is that if you are awarded sole custody of your children, the other parent will never see them again. People often come to my office requesting “sole custody” when their primary goal is to take their children away from the other parent completely. Likewise, people often believe that joint custody means that the children will live with one parent 50% of the time, and with the other parent 50% of the time. In both cases, the opposite is true.

The legal term for joint custody is Joint Managing Conservatorship (JMC). In a JMC, both parents are able to make decisions regarding issues such as education, religious upbringing, medical care, etc. Although both parents share in the decision making, one parent will typically be named as the “Primary” JMC. The primary JMC is the parent who gets to decide where the child lives. In addition to having the right to determine the residence of the child, the primary JMC is also entitled to collect child support from the other parent.

Unlike JMC, in a Sole Managing Conservatorship (SMC), one parent is appointed to make all the major decisions regarding the child's upbringing, including where the child will live. Naming one parent as the SMC is usually done when the court finds that joint custody is not in the best interests of the child. In this situation, the non-custodial parent will be allowed the same visitation as in joint custody; however, he or she will not be able to participate in the decision making process. *It’s important to note that under certain circumstances, the Court will name one parent SMC and restrict the other parent’s access to the child all together.

What is an Uncontested Divorce? Is it right for you?

Uncontested divorces are divorces of agreement. In an uncontested divorce, the parties agree to resolve all issues (prior to filing) without the need for court intervention.

Here, the lawyer's role is limited to the preparation of pleadings, the divorce decree, and the closing documents. Typically, there is only one lawyer involved, and only one court appearance is necessary to finalize the divorce. Because of this, legal fees are substantially reduced.

To determine whether an uncontested divorce is right for you, consider the following:

• Marital Property Division
• Child Support
• Child Custody
• Debt Allocation

If you and your spouse can reach an agreement on the above, there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to proceed with an uncontested divorce.

The Divorce Process: Do's and Don'ts

Divorce can be a difficult process. Even in the best of circumstances, tempers may run high, and every decision can seem to be more stressful than the last. It is only human to find yourself reacting emotionally at certain stages of a divorce, but it is important to remember that your actions throughout the process can affect your familial, emotional, and financial situation for years to come. Following are some "do's and don'ts" for the divorce process.

THE DO's

DO be reasonable and cooperate as much as possible with your soon-to-be-ex. Reasonable compromise yields quicker and easier results in divorce cases.

DO support your children through this process. It's even tougher on them than on you. Don't make them pick sides.

DO let your spouse know when and where you will spend time with your kids while you work out permanent custody arrangements. Your spouse might think you've made a run for the border -- and if your soon-to-be-ex has to ask the police to track you down, that won't look good during custody or visitation hearings.

DO fully disclose all your assets and property. A court can throw out a divorce decree based on financial deception, putting you back in court years after you thought everything was final.

DO ask your attorney if anything doesn't make sense. Your attorney works for you, and should help you understand every part of the divorce process.

THE DON'Ts

DON'T make big plans to take a job in another state or move out of the country until your divorce is final. Your new life could interfere with getting your divorce finalized.

DON'T violate any temporary custody or visitation arrangements. It could make it tougher for you to get the custody or visitation rights you prefer.

DON'T "give away" property to friends or relatives and arrange to get it back later. Hiding property can mean your spouse can take you back to court to settle those assets.

DON'T go it alone. Divorce is complicated, and an attorney can make sure that your interests are protected.

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